March Newsletter: Envy
Happy March!
Your free demo of the month is… Envy!
HOORAY, February is over!! Let the excitement of spring begin! On March 26th, I’ll be releasing a new single of “Why Snow White” with a lyric video (keep an eye on Spotify and my YouTube channel).
Photo by Kai Hayashi
Graphic design by Chad Lowe
And next month, I’m releasing another new single! Then in May, I’m reissuing Look at the Harlequins! as a full album — remastered, with new artwork and a slightly different order that includes these two new tracks. I’m just too proud of that record for it to remain a little baby EP! Now it can live its best life as my full-grown sophomore album.
For the time being, this is a digital release, but I expect to have the album available as a CD later this year (and hopefully vinyl someday!).
Side note: check out my submission to this year's Tiny Desk Contest! Give it a like if you like!
I had a lovely time playing two shows in the Bay Area last month. At my show in Berkeley, I debuted two new songs, “Silent Film” and “Envy”. I’m thinking of including “Silent Film” on a piano-and-vocals EP later this year, so I may keep it relatively secret until then.
Thus, while February is still fresh in our minds, I give you a demo of “Envy,” which includes a few lines strongly inspired by bird artist Julie Zickefoose’s blog post “In a February Mood”. The song deals a bit with seasonal depression, but mostly it tackles my own professional jealousy, which tends to be severe. It’s been worse than usual this year, partly thanks to a scam artist who took me for quite a ride from November through January.
[Update: I’ve removed the details of the story and I’m leaving the situation in the hands of the Los Angeles DA.]
From that first message in November until January, I resisted getting my hopes up. Then, finally, I let them soar sky-high, only to have them utterly crushed.
Where does this leave me? Sadder but wiser. I mean, yeah, I already knew that no one will ever work as hard on your music career as you.
But! But.
Some people do make it big. Some people end up with managers and legal teams and Grammy nominations. Some people become wildly successful.
I have a friend whose partner, a writer, has totally exploded in popularity in the last year. At first I was purely happy for him. I love his work, and it absolutely merits all this attention. But as the accolades piled up, I grew weary. Resentful. Envious.
And so, like any time I’ve had emotions that needed to be dealt with, I wrote a song. And I do feel a little better having written it. Whatever happens, whatever I’m going through, at least I can write a song. And best of all, I get to share it with you.
This demo is pretty basic, but it gets the job done for now.
I know I'm not the only one who deals with feelings of professional jealousy, so let's all try to remember: success takes many forms. Sometimes what we do will reach a ton of people overnight, sometimes it’ll make a huge impact on a few people over time. Sometimes it’ll lead us to an exciting new idea, or a new connection. I met my partner Adam through my music, and this month we’re celebrating our 7th anniversary. Whenever I feel unsuccessful, I can remind myself of that life-changing success.
Thank you so much for letting me share new songs with you, and the stories behind the songs. And remember, I always like hearing from you! You can email me, or reach out on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook.
Take care,
Stephan